Monday, April 20, 2009

“I Used to Be A Giraffe…”: My Young Poets


One of the joys of my life over the past year and a half has been teaching poetry-writing to kids in the public elementary school in nearby Emeryville, Calif. After contacting the district’s volunteer coordinators in fall 2007, I was quickly matched with a fabulous teacher eager to have me work with her then-second-graders for an hour every week. Without really knowing what I was doing, I found my way as a teacher thanks to Kenneth Koch’s brilliant book of poetry-writing exercises and advice, “Wishes, Lies, and Dreams,” and thanks to the open, respectful, creative vibe the teacher had already set in the classroom. And most of all, because of the sweet, talented kids  African-American, Hispanic, Filipino, and Indian, most from low-income families  and the rapport we found together. This proved true even with the few kids with sporadically disruptive classroom behavior.

Every week I’d come in and greet them with “Hi, poets!” I assumed they could write. And they matched my assumption by doing so. I soon learned the impact on them of certain things I said. Early on, before we started the writing part of each class, I would instruct them that they could raise their hands if they were “stuck” and I’d come around to help. Shortly I had a batch of kids every week moaning about how stuck they were. Well, they were writers. They could have writer’s block. (And I found ways to nudge them out of it.)

In one session, I read them part of one of my favorite poems, Federico Garcia Lorca’s “Romance Sonambulo” (in English and then partly in Spanish) – “Green I love you green/Green the wind, green the boughs…” The assignment was to use a color in every line. A very shy Mexican-American girl, a bit taller than the other kids, really found her voice in response. Her poem using the color white (blanca) was so poignant and lyrical that it brought tears to my eyes when I read it aloud to the class. (For most of that first year, I read all the kids’ poems to them at the end of every class, as we only had an hour in total, not enough time at this stage for them to read their own poems. They’d gather on the rug up front and listen raptly with sparkling eyes, often laughing, impressed and moved by their creations.)

The next class, I assigned one of the Koch exercises: “I used to be______/but now I am ____.” The kids were to write as many of these couplets as they could during the writing time. Lupita (not her real name), the girl inspired by Lorca, started with this:

“I used to be a giraffe
but now I am a paragraph.”

What an inventive match of elements, and what an original rhyme! Even more moving was what the lines said about Lupita. She was no longer an isolated animal, looking down from her slight height silently at the rest of the class. She had become something changed. Something rich with meaning, more than just a word or a sentence. She had become a paragraph.

These kids have kept me creating. As I tell them every week: “Thank you, poets. Give yourselves a hand.”
copyright 2009 Lisa Bernstein
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www.itunes.com/lisab

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Photo Shoot/Root Canal

singer-poet-intuitive-educator Lisa B (Lisa Bernstein)
Could this title be an example of a poetry-writing exercise that I have given to my beloved third-grade poets  an exercise on random rhyming, perhaps? Or the name of a vintage “Monty Python” bit?

Not yet. You don’t ever desire one of them, and you sure don’t want both happening at the same time in your life. But for me in February/March, they were.

So, I’d never had a root canal. My possibly incompetent dentist realized that perhaps the persistent pain over 5 weeks of adjustments to a new crown might indicate the need for a root canal. An x-ray confirmed it. Why didn’t the x-ray that pointed to a needed crown show a needed root canal to start with? One can only speculate. So I undergo part one of the RC. Weird, painful, but bearable during and after. Part two of the RC: the dentist manages to drop not one, but two broken-off tips of the cleaning implement (the rotary file) deep IN the canal. I am alarmed; he is mildly apologetic and emphatic about all his effort to “help me.” My later research on the internet shows that this occasionally happens, mentioning one rotary file left in a tooth canal, no big deal, can be sealed in there – but two of them…? Not a mention. The dentist himself admitted he had left one rotary file (some millimeters long) in a patient’s interior jaw before, but never two. One would think that the first loss of the implement  likely to now reside forever in my very slanty tooth canal – would have inspired him to quit the effort then and there and refer me to an endodontist with superior equipment who specializes only in root canals. But no – he seems to be a very determined man, as indicated by the force of his chairside manner, one who doesn’t give up  as if while digging through my tender mouth he were practicing the martial art in which, his staff admiringly told me earlier, he was quite expert. But my rather small mouth is not an aikido mat, nor is the “canal” in this case anything like those in Venice.

So he does refer me to an endodontist, who is no longer enrolled in my rather budget-level (now I see why) dental plan. I find another in the plan who seems to be very well credentialed, and in the better-heeled town of Walnut Creek. (You can see that I’m now desperate for reassurance of any kind about this procedure.) When we meet, I stupidly mention that she’s not listed on “Yelp,” prompting a bit of ruffled ranting about the website on her part. Great start. We get past that. I love her digital x-rays in which you can see the two rotary files deep in the diagonal canal beneath my tooth, lying one upon the other casually like toothpicks at a picnic. She makes a reasonable assessment of the situation, and a few days later she seems to complete a successful root canal in which the two instruments are, I hope, sealed forever in the sterile, filled canal.

While all this is going on, I’m conceiving of and organizing a photo shoot for my upcoming CD, “The Poetry of Groove.” But it’s challenging to imagine how I might want to look on the cover while handling a throbbing tooth and worrying about questionable dental expertise. Still, I call the wonderful photographer I’ve used on my last three CDs, Sibylla Herbrich. We brainstorm together. We talk about the right image, possible “looks,” what it should communicate. We send each other examples of CD covers we like. We decide to do the shoot at her new studio in Santa Rosa, Calif. I contact Artist Untied, an S.F.-based agency of talented hair and makeup artists and more, led by the capable Rene, who has kindly set me up with just the right person, at a generous rate, on each of the last shoots. I’m concerned about finding someone willing to travel to Santa Rosa among his tidy roster of six stylists. Amazingly, one of them, Veronica, has family in Santa Rosa and wants to do it. We settle on a date.

The day after RC #1, I spend 5 hours (on ibuprofen) trudging through the rain in downtown San Francisco looking for something to wear on the shoot. I’m sadly lacking in nice clothes. I have about four different outfits I can wear on gigs or photo shoots, and mostly these have been exhausted by the covers of the last three CDs. We’re talking about a 10-year span here; this should tell you about my interest in clothes shopping. Now I’m looking for something colorful, form-fitting, that reads creativity, poetry, groove. Much of what I try on is too tight – in the large sizes. And I’m under 5’4” and 123 lbs, in great shape. What do the truly large women wear (and may we all love the sizes we are, whatever they may be)? A lot of the clothes are cheap retreads from the 70s. And the rest of it is just wrong. This continues for the next two weeks – root canal procedures 1, 2, and 3, each one more painful than the last as my canal gets more excavated, followed by my determined and increasingly hopeless foraging through stores in various neighborhoods of Berkeley and Oakland, as if the more someone hacks through my mouth, the more frantic I am to cover up with good-looking apparel.

I finally find a couple of things to wear  in black. One piece is way, way, way above my budget. It looks gorgeous. I buy it.

Not having expected the RC experience to drag on, it turns out that I’ve scheduled RC #3 for a Tuesday and the shoot three days later on a Friday. I look a bit worse for wear on Thursday. Should I cancel? I decide that the interior pain doesn’t show much on my face, place my faith in makeup, lighting, and Sibylla, and forge ahead rather than reschedule.

The rain stops. It’s a fresh, lovely drive into the Santa Rosa hills from Oakland. Sibylla is welcoming and efficient as ever, and her new studio quite gorgeous. Sibylla’s husband, the talented photographer and photo-illustrator William Duke, provides brilliant lighting. Veronica is an unassuming though expert delight and does a beautiful job of makeup and hair, and is open to my tweaks. The new clothes look beautiful. Sibylla is masterful and fun to work with. I love the blue background she’s using behind me. In breaks, we check the shots, which these days are digital, and which we can see instantly on the computer – not like the first two CD shoots, when I had to wait days for a real film contact sheet and it was harder to assess what worked and what didn’t, and easier to see on her computer than during the 2006 shoot in my living room for “What’s New, Pussycat?.” Because of this past experience, I’m not alarmed by the poses and angles in which I look ugly – my heart doesn’t sink anymore with desperate confirmation of my worst fears about my looks. Now I just accept that in some angles, and without the redemption of the perfectly falling light, I look pretty bad, but that in some, I’ll look pretty good. I dance a lot throughout the shoot as we planned, and Sibylla captures moments which work great. It’s poetic, and it grooves. I hope you agree when you see it.

A few Vicodin, many ibuprofen, and a couple of weeks behind me, the root canals seem to have worked. I was merely the passive recipient of that private series of procedures. But the photo shoot was something else: art I could organize and participate in, creatively collaborating with other highly competent artists. It was the act of making a hyper-real, more beautiful, especially expressive me, whom I get to share with you publicly, in the hope that it helps transport you to the realm of Poetry and Groove along with the music. Now I can envision the public face of this new CD.

Glamour and image are things we construct together. They are false as art is false  and true as art is true, when we’re lucky: showing both body and soul.

Which I doubt anyone can see, even with digital x-rays, in a root canal.

copyright © 2009 Lisa Bernstein


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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Letter to The New Yorker on Music File Sharing

The New Yorker cover from lisabmusic.blogspot.com
Here's a letter I recently sent to The New Yorker (which, incidentally, is my favorite publication for cultural criticism, all-around interesting writing both fictional and nonfictional, gorgeous clear-out-the-cobwebs copyediting for this part-time editor's brain, and vicarious hit on my favorite city in the world after Oakland, Calif.) on a rather cavalier remark made by one of the writers on sharing music files:

Dear Editors:

In her review of Elvis Costello’s television talk show, the usually reliable Nancy Franklin (“Intimate Persuasion,” December 22 & 29) writes an aside about wanting to buy digital music from Amazon instead of iTunes, because “all the music that Amazon sells is unlocked, meaning that it can be shared limitlessly with friends.” (Apple since announced that it too will unlock iTunes files.) Franklin then writes, “Music wants to be paid for, but, after that, it wants to be free.” She’s echoing a phrase batted around in discussions of the internet: Information wants to be free. I know she’s making fun of the anthropomorphizing that gives information, or music, the ability to want anything, but she’s serious about her wanting to share purchased music files. Well, while music wants nothing, I want to get paid. As a recording singer-songwriter-poet and indie label owner, my income stream is already precarious without people giving away songs of mine they’ve purchased. Does Franklin feel that when she buys a ticket to a live show, she has the right to give away a limitless number of seats, because the show wants to be free? Custom and commercial practice forbid it. In contrast, computer technology and practice have taught us to pay for the digital carrier (computers, blank CDs, email service) but not its content. How to pay content originators in a digital age is a muddle jeopardizing the survival not only of music-makers but also of newspaper and magazine owners and writers  as The New Yorker surely knows. Until the muddle is clarified, I ask Franklin and other music enthusiasts to send their friends links to Amazon, iTunes, or indie music sites, instead of sending the bootlegged music itself.

Lisa B (Lisa Bernstein)

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www.itunes.com/lisab
www.cdbaby.com/Artist/LisaBLisaBernstein
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Sunday, January 11, 2009

Lessons with Jane Sharp

Jane Sharp from lisabmusic.blogspot.com
One day I had a lesson with my vocal coach Jane Sharp (yes, that really is her name). She was teaching me the song "The Very Thought of You." "Jazz is constant variation," Jane said, and we were working on the possible variations in this charming, sincere, rather straightforward tune written in 1934.

To be a jazz singer means exploring one's unique interpretation of a song, playing not only with melody, but also with the rhythms of phrases and their timing too  pushing them ahead or laying them back as the count of the song ticks on.

But meanwhile, as Jane has reminded me many times, we also have to sing the meaning of the words  say the sentences, tell the story. We emphasize certain words, we pronounce some more crisply than others, we are actors. The meaning of the lyrics influences our other musical choices. The possibilities can seem overwhelming. But if I'm guided by how I would truly speak the lyrics to someone, I find the right path: Make music, be inventive, but in the end, tell the story from my mind and heart.

Jane is an amazing teacher. Once I came into a lesson close to tears and attempted to sing a sad ballad. Jane was full of empathy, but she remained the wise and helpful coach. She said something I've never forgotten: "In life, we're destroyed. Then we sing. But not in the same instant."

Today we kept looking at a little bird outside the window. It had flown right up against the window of the lesson room, and then it hopped stunned to the roof of a shed just a couple of feet away. It was a baby. It sat silent as we worked on the new song. Finally, we were done, and my (and Jane's) singing subsided.

Then the baby bird started to sing  or call for its mother. In life, we may be destroyed. But then we sing.

copyright 2009 Lisa Bernstein

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www.itunes.com/lisab
www.cdbaby.com/Artist/LisaBLisaBernstein
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Thursday, January 1, 2009

Magic for ’09: Lisa's Lord's Prayers

Finally! So glad the page has turned. Aren’t you happy to see the new number we’re in at last? Nines are nice: triple magical, since three is a magic number and nine is thrice that.

I’m having fun looking back, looking forward, cleaning my pantry (literally!), and gathering my tools and plans. It seems an apt moment to offer a prayer/poem I wrote a few years ago, to help the new year start off right.

Lisa’s Lord’s Prayers

Our mistress
who art in star-wash
bright be thy name.
Thy queendom come,
thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily mead
and forgive us our marks on others
as we forgive those who put a mark on us.
And lead us not into the underworld
but deliver us from the dark.

Our father
in the world’s waters,
glistening be thy net.
Thy currents calm,
thy steady arm
extend over these oceans.
Give us this day the fish’s flesh
and forgive our over-taking
as we forgive those who steal our catch.
And lead us not into the dark gulf
but deliver us from storms.

Our canopy
arced over the universe
untouched be thy sheen.
Thy net of time
billow and shine
in matter as in motion.
Give us today our honeycomb
and forgive us our history
as we forgive those who would forget.
And steer us away from the black holes
but toward life.

Letters of God
in every cell
golden be each stroke.
Your power come,
meaning be done
electrically in nerve and spirit.
Give us today our act of truth
and forgive our indecision
as we forgive the strong-voiced who stay mute.
And lead us not into judgment
but deliver us from fear.

Lisa,
who art alive now,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy time has come,
thy will be done
in action as in dreaming.
Give yourself this day on earth
and forgive your failings
as you forgive those who fail all around you.
And lead yourself from suffering
into joy.

Our cats,
who art in Oakland,
springy be thy paws.
Thy catfood come,
thy wishes be done
in day and night and cat-dreams.
Give us today our purr of love
and forgive our absence
as we forgive the fleas who live in your fur.
And lead us not with claw-marks
but into languorous sleep.
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PS: I don’t pray to myself in the next-to-last verse out of arrogance, though it does feel a bit radical to do so. Try it, dear reader: say a prayer to yourself as well as to the Divine – because you are both.

© 2009 Lisa Bernstein

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www.itunes.com/lisab
www.cdbaby.com/Artist/LisaBLisaBernstein
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Monday, December 29, 2008

Grammy Nominee John Lee Hooker, Jr., & His Engineer Jim Gardiner

John Lee Hooker Jr. at Pajama Studios, Oakland, Calif.
John Lee Hooker  Jr. at Pajama Studios, Oakland, Calif.
John Lee Hooker, Jr., has been nominated for a Grammy for his third CD release “All Odds Against Me,” in the Best Traditional Blues Album category. The record was engineered, mixed, and mastered by Jim Gardiner of Oakland, Calif.’s, Pajama Studios and Touch-Tone Productions. This is the second Grammy nomination for Hooker, Jr.; Jim recorded that record too.

Because Jim is my longtime collaborator, sometime-producer, and always-engineer, I’ve been hearing about this project as it progressed. I’m very proud of Jim and very glad for Hooker, Jr. You can check out some of Jim’s compositions on his myspace page at http://www.myspace.com/touchtonehits . Don’t let the hyperbole fool you; he’s a humble, empathetic guy. And his talent spans genres, with a background including a stint as composer in residence for the state of Washington as well as doing sessions with recording artists from Deniece Williams to Pharoah Sanders to Tupac Shakur. Very few people bring such a mix of compositional and engineering chops to the recording console. Mazel tov, Jim and John Lee.

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www.itunes.com/lisab
www.cdbaby.com/Artist/LisaBLisaBernstein
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Saturday, December 20, 2008

"Blue Train": The Sound of Home

Blue Train by Coltrane from lisabmusic.blogspot.com
I put on “Blue Train” (John Coltrane, originally issued 1957) the other day and was immediately immersed in a sound so comforting and familiar that it constituted “home.”

Not that the music is in any way sentimental. And the first three tracks, midtempo and uptempo, aren’t “comforting” in a way that would make anyone want to lie down and relax. It’s just that for me, this sound was one of the main imprints of the happiest parts of my childhood. The soundtrack of Trane early and late, pulsing, singing, wailing, exploring, and somehow knowing underneath. And his committed, swinging bands driving right under and with him.

My dad was a serious Coltrane fan. He had gone to see Coltrane in clubs often enough in different cities to warrant coming up to him and saying hello between sets. My dad was an even closer friend to a number of other jazz musicians. I grew up hearing “the music” — as the musicians called it; not “jazz,” but “the music.” I certainly heard it even from the womb. Jazz listeners such as my dad experience jazz as their primary spiritual experience. My dad and the music and the depth of experience it created have been bound up together for me for as long as I can remember. Warm, creative, driving, interesting, fun — and a place for me to be all those things: home.

In some ways, this familiarity with “Blue Train” — and most of what came before and after it in jazz — was a disadvantage to me as a singer. That’s because I really understood what jazz entailed, and that was overwhelming. I admit that at times I have not only scorned but also envied those jazz singers whose bios proclaim that they became interested in jazz when they first heard Ella at 19 years old after having started out as country-western singers. Or that their parents sometimes played jazz, so they learned a few standards as teenagers and just kept going. Ah, the power of innocence. The sense that you have started to plumb something that your parents don’t really understand. That unplowed field was not for me. I knew more. Was more awed, more reluctant, more silenced by the power and history of the music. It kept me away from it for awhile as an artist.

For instance, as a child I played and studied classical piano. There was some talk of my being taught by a jazz pianist, but it didn’t happen. One day the brilliant avant-garde pianist Cecil Taylor came to visit my parents and our home. This was in a period in which he was fairly shy and reticent – not the later garrulous Cecil. He asked me to play Beethoven for him. Though I was in fifth grade, maybe sixth, I had already heard a lot of Cecil’s playing on LP and live too. That was enough to keep my hands off the keys while he was there. I guess both of us were feeling shy. Except I was shy before the quiet of a volcano at rest. I guess he was shy because of being a volcano at rest.

It has surprised me whenever a self-appointed guardian of jazz feels that he (and it’s invariably a he) must bar me from that exclusive realm. Oh, and this person is invariably not a musician. Not that it’s happened often. But, readers, when it does, I remember and it stings. We all seem to remember such slurs with more sharpness than we remember the praise and appreciation, even if the latter are more voluminous than the former. One editor of a major jazz magazine declined to review my CD “What’s New, Pussycat?” because, according to my publicist, he couldn’t tell if I was being serious. (Does jazz = serious?) Another jazz vocal critic asserted in print that it wasn’t jazz I was singing, even while praising my voice. Of course, many other critics and jazz radio DJs and listeners have accepted the same record as jazz and as other things too. But when I face those fierce guardians who seek to define me out of their church, I’m dumbfounded. How can it be to not hear the core of someone whose earliest soundtrack is the sound of Coltrane (and in this case, the sound of Lee Morgan, Curtis Fuller, Kenny Drew, Paul Chambers, and Philly Joe Jones)? Can’t you hear the atmosphere in which I breathed and jumped and played as a child? The patterns that entered my own pulsebeats? They are still with me, the underpulses from which everything else springs. Home.

copyright 2008 Lisa Bernstein
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www.itunes.com/lisab

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Rosetta and I on the Solstice

No sooner did I put up my spot of blog than I proceeded into a computer meltdown. Despite the trauma, at some point I recalled something my psychic-tools teachers used to say — that sometimes when you take a spiritual/personal step forward, other peoples’ energy or old programming in your space can say No, don’t change, it’s rocking my world! and cause some bounceback. The watchword in that case is stay amused. So I did pretty well at that.

The crash was due to my clouded thinking while in stupid chase of what I thought was an undesired use of one of my tunes. My website statistics were telling me that a new movies site was generating quite a few hits to my site, and when I clicked on the url, I got a porn page. So rather than prudently exiting, no, I huffed and I puffed and I thought, “misusing my lovely rendition of ‘What’s New, Pussycat?’ from my latest album, no doubt! No no no!” And in my outrage to verify this, I even clicked on some window telling me I needed to download something, and – frozen computer, meltdown, viral attack. For some minutes I forgot that the computer was not my body, and that I was not being personally attacked by an evil virus, that it was the machine (okay, and my life stored thereon) that was under attack. The nerve. Anyway, I had done somewhat recent firewire backup, so may it actually work. I’m typing on an old computer right now, but a new one is soon to arrive. All’s well that will end well.

The year soon ends. The solstice is upon us. Holy day, shortest day, longest night, take me away. Let me recall the year and re-set myself.

In that spirit have been dusting my piano and my music books and my CDs and folders of songs in progress and notebooks of song ideas and looking at folders of my musical charts for all the songs on all my CDs. I feel proud and eager to go forward with the next.
Listening all the while to quite a bunch: Chick Corea with Anthony Braxton and Dave Holland! (a far cry from his Elektric band, thankfully), Charles Mingus (who was just too energetic and complicated for my solstice-y sorting mood), the incomparable “Compared to What” by Les McCann and Eddie Harris, a soulful jazzy David “Fathead” Newman track with Ray Charles on it, a few moments of Carmen McRae (but I couldn’t tolerate hearing her, because she’s so incisive and compelling she distracted from the task at hand), an annoying Keith Jarrett keening and humming so loudly with his wonderful standards trio that I couldn’t stand it….are you getting the picture that I’m a bit oversensitive?

But my favorite was the old-timey gospel-blues-folk singer Rosetta Tharpe from the 1930s, whom I’d never listened to before. Wow. That woman was so reassuring. I felt that I must save the box set of her music in case of some kind of disaster. I imagined myself stranded in the house after an earthquake listening to her utter truthfulness and groundedness as she sang and played guitar, and feeling okay. She sang a lot about God and Jesus, but even this Jew/goddess-communicator dug it. Rosetta seemed to have her feet on the earth, her body and voice so warmed and real, her knowledge of God and the path to heaven so sound, so sung, so matter of fact – it was like eating oatmeal for the first time (which I love), or being in a sauna, or standing on a hillside in Greece feeling the ancient truths– the “itness” of life revealed without the usual fog around it, I was there in time with it, hearing it, body and soul.


copyright 2007 Lisa Bernstein
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www.itunes.com/lisab