The Energy of Income Tax Filing

Beautiful day, and I'm hunkering down to prepare for filing taxes. I keep good records, so mainly I'm just adding them up. Still, it's an involved process, since I have a few different simultaneous enterprises. 

When I look back on my expenses and income over the year, it's never just numbers for me, but what my allocation of energy for that period FEELS like. Money is emotional. 

The summed figures represent my choices, how I spent time, how much wealth I can or want to accrue, the way I do that, how much I (can) have, how much I give away. So, the figures represent not only my choices, but my values.

I feel pleased, inadequate, frustrated, optimistic, bored. Loop through that a few times. Worry. Assess. Look at it all again. What do I add up to?

Then when I meet with the guy who does my taxes, all that is forgiven and transformed. Everything is condensed down. He's just looking at my numbers, in a friendly, expert, and supportive way. It's math, with a dose of looking forward to next year and a chance to reset it all. A ritual well worth it not only in terms of saved labor but also in the release from all my internal permutations. 

Can't wait.

copyright © 2014 Lisa Bernstein

New Workshop for Singers, Sat. 5/3/14: The Complete Singer: Spiritual, Technical, and Practical Tools to Help You Realize Your Musical Dreams

New Workshop for Singers
Sat. May 3, 1 - 4 p.m.

taught by 

Singer-Poet-Educator-Intuitive Consultant Lisa B (Lisa Bernstein) 

and 

Singer-Educator Daria!:

I'm excited to be offering a new workshop at my Oakland home, harnessing information from the realms of mind, body, and spirit -- and to be teaching it with the wonderful singer and instructor Daria. All levels welcome!

THE COMPLETE SINGER: SPIRITUAL, TECHNICAL, AND PRACTICAL TOOLS TO HELP YOU REALIZE YOUR MUSICAL DREAMS

* Reconnect with your original dream of becoming a singer
* Identify and fine-tune your goals and activities
* Get tools and information to increase your confidence, ease, and well-being
* Get personalized feedback on vocal technique
* Receive answers to some of your burning questions about your singing path

- Includes guided visualization, meditation, instruction, sharing, and singing.
- Free, homemade snacks.
- PLUS free 15-minute consultation within two months after the workshop with either Lisa (clairvoyant reading & healing via phone) or Daria (vocal consultation via Skype or phone).
- Easy parking in safe, pleasant Oakland neighborhood.
- All for $75. What a deal!
- Maximum 10 participants, so reserve your place now! Open to those at all levels. 

Please email lisabmusic at hotmail.com to reserve your place now or ask any questions! Again, the date is Sat. May 3, 1 to 4 p.m.
__________________________________________________________

The workshop will help you:

Vocalizing:

--Feel more relaxed and connected to your breath support 

--Feel more "in your body," confident, and clear

--Reduce stage fright, resistance, confusion, insecurity

--Expand your vocal exercises and terminology

--Draw on your different chakras or major energy centers when singing

--Learn helpful tips on your key vocal issues

Your singer's life:

--Reconnect with your own joy of singing

--Identify goals you want to keep, revise, or add

--Stop competing with yourself and others

--Explore how diet, sleep, allergens, medications, and stress affect your voice

--Set your own tone/agenda for your singing activities 
__________________________________________________________

Daria is an acclaimed vocalist, recording artist, and educator who has performed and toured internationally with her trio and Dan Hicks & the Hot Licks. She has taught at the Jazzschool, College of Marin, Blue Bear School of Music, and elsewhere. See www.dariajazz.com

"Daria's masterful and compassionate vocal coaching style, coupled with her ability to provide a safe and respectful environment, has transformed me from a shy, quiet individual to a more confident, vocally present participant in the world and in my own life. I am eternally grateful for our work together." - Darla Holst

Lisa B (Lisa Bernstein) is a singer, poet, and clairvoyant reader, healer, and coach with five CDs and two books to her credit. She received grants from the National Endowment for the Arts, Headlands Center for the Arts, and others. She has taught at San Francisco State University, the Jazzschool, Anna Yates Elementary School, and Allendale Recreation Center.

“Lisa Bernstein's mix of spoken word poetry...and passionate jazzy, high-register vocalizing is …hard to resist.” - All Music Guide

“I know Lisa as an accomplished poet and singer. Recently I had a chance to experience her other skill as an intuitive. I would recommend her without reservation to anyone who is curious to know more about themselves.” – Ben Flint, pianist and educator

"Holiday in Oakland": New Music Video Gets Great Press, Goes Semi-Viral

Just before Christmas 2013, I knuckled down and made a slide-show-style music video over the course of two days for my original tune, "Holiday in Oakland," which had been released two years before. I believed that the video would reach into the ears and hearts of my fellow Oaklanders.

And that's what happened — sparked by some minimal tweeting on my part. Still, the enthusiastic, semi-viral reception was a shock.

"Holiday in Oakland" celebrates the Town's vibrancy all year long, on every holiday. But it was delightful to debut the video during the winter holidays, like unveiling a special gift.  

I posted the video just before 4 a.m. on December 23. That night, I sent a tweet about it to Mayor Jean Quan and her spokesman Sean Maher. In the next hours, Mayor Quan not only retweeted the link to the video, but also presented it on her Facebook page as her holiday greeting "from my family to yours" and a couple of days later, sent it out to thousands of folks via her personal newsletter.

As this was unfolding, on Christmas Eve day I sent a tweet about the new video to KTVU Channel 2 reporter Eric Rasmussen, emboldened by his Twitter bio statement that he was not only an investigative reporter but also a hip-hop DJ. I was knee-deep in cleaning my house, since my parents were to come up from Santa Cruz County the next day for dinner. Dusty, and tired from staying up all night the past two nights, not to mention from vacuuming up a lot of dog hair, I took little breaks at my computer to send out a few tweets about the video.

Lo and behold, the next day, just before 11:00 a.m., my doorbell rang  It was Eric Rasmussen and camerawoman Erica Hintergardt. They had arrived like Santa and one of his elves on my doorstep. I was still in my pajamas. (I wear this particular pair often throughout the year, but today they were appropriate: red with little Santas.) I had just gotten out of bed. At that moment I had been listening to a voice message from Rasmussen on my ancient Radio Shack answering machine and its tiny dictaphone-like tape cassette.

(While I record music in a sophisticated recording studio with state-of-the-art equipment, I not only don't have a current voicemail system, I also lack a smart phone, cable TV, movie streaming, and even movie delivery from Netflix. Not that I'm proud of any of this, but there it is.)

So in the blinding Oakland Christmas morning sun stood Eric in a suit and tie and Erica dressed more casually, with my black German Shepherd barking her head off at them through the living room window. I managed to get them inside and rather dumbfoundedly listened as Eric explained that he wanted to film an interview with me about the new video and song. He was seeking a positive story for Christmas about our much-maligned city. And since the video was taking off...

Eric had tweeted, emailed, and phoned in the previous hour, but since I am a night person, as most musicians and poets are, I hadn't of course received any of these communiques at the time. It seems obvious now, but stunning then, that reporters think nothing of chasing down the private residential address of a newsy quarry and just showing up there.

KTVU broadcasts one of the Bay Area's top-rated news shows. Coincidentally, its Jack London Square office is a stone's throw from Pajama Studios, where I recorded "Holiday in Oakland" with my co-composer, producer, and engineer, Jim Gardiner. Everything, when you get down to it, is local. And get down we do, in this video, which pays homage not only to Oakland but also to some of the great musicians who come from or spent formative time in the Town.

Eric and Erica agreed to return in an hour. I threw on makeup and clothes, hampered not only by exhaustion and excitement but also by a coincidental episode of low blood-sugar, a not-unserious matter for a type 1 diabetic and a state that produces heightened adrenaline — as if I needed more — muddy thinking, and moodiness. Still, I got it together. My makeup approach was based on my experience with photo shoots, but it suffered from the lack of an actual makeup artist, and it didn't suit what turned out to be high-definition TV filming. Doh! At least my house was clean. 

Well, what was more important was that in the intervening hour, Eric and Erica walked around Lake Merritt playing excerpts of the "Holiday in Oakland" video to passersby, to approving nods and gratifying testimonials.

The segment was shown on the 6 p.m. and 10 p.m. news that night. The video, the news piece, the accompanying print story, and various Facebook posts and tweets about them by not only me, but other people, were shared over and over in the subsequent days. Hundreds, maybe thousands, of times, given that more than 50 other publications picked up the story online and in print. What a thrill.

I mean, the next week, I went to pick up a pair of orthotics from their manufacturer near the Oakland Airport, and the guy who had measured them told me he had seen the TV news story. In my little universe, that's fame.

The video depends on the wonderful photography and artwork of some stellar Oaklanders, who are thanked in the credits. Thanks to them again.

Here's the story accompanying KTVU's coverage:
http://www.ktvu.com/news/news/local/local-poet-songwriter-celebrates-holidays-oakland-/ncTsf/ 

And here's my post about the song, including lyrics, from when I first released it: http://lisabmusic.blogspot.com/2011/10/holiday-in-oakland-new-single.html

Finally, help a girl out (and delight yourself) by downloading the tune: 

CDBaby: 

http://cdbaby.com/cd/lisablisabernstein

or iTunes:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/holiday-in-oakland/id472458271?i=472458273&uo=4

Let's take a holiday in Oakland, all year round!
-----------------------------------------------------------

New Music Video: "Joe Williams Died Walking/Every Day I Have the Blues"

This new video begins with a spoken poem based on the true story of how the great jazz and blues singer Joe Williams passed from this life — in a way that embodied the joy and strength that can be heard in his renditions of his signature tune, "Every Day I Have the Blues." It then segues into my own version of that memorable song. 

The final frames of the video show a note from Joe Williams' widow Jillean Williams (who requested a copy of the CD after hearing about the song). In the note she writes, "...you've obviously been listening! It is wonderful that you felt moved to write such a tribute, and I know Joe would have been most impressed with your talents."

Please support indie music and this song by purchasing it from my "Center of the Rhyme" record at www.iTunes.com/lisab (or song link https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/joe...)
or
CDBaby (http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/lisab), 
or 
Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/Center-Rhyme-Li...). 

Personnel on this recording: 
Lisa B (Lisa Bernstein) - vocals
Frank Martin - keyboard
Mimi Fox - guitar
Bill Douglass - bass
Paul van Wageningen - drums
Jim Gardiner - producer and engineer, Pajama Studios
George Horn - mastering, Fantasy Studios

Please comment, whatever your response, and please share! 

Press Makes a Record Release Feel Real

As a very-indie musical artist, it's hard to know when I'm succeeding, failing, or treading water. How do I measure success, whether artistically, commercially, or even in terms of impact on listeners?

Because I started out as a poet and writer, one measure I've always prized is what reviewers have said about me in print (which includes text online). And I've paid a pretty penny to help garner their opinions, by hiring excellent publicists to reach out to them and serve as neutral though trusted advocates, though I've also contacted a number of reviewers and publications myself.

As part of looking back on my life in the music-business trenches, the other night I went through the press page on my website and looked at all the reviews of my five CDs released since 1999, adding many of the publications' logos to the site. It was fun and made their reviews seem more real to me again, with a welcome distance from the tortured immediate post-release phase when I was hoping someone would get and like the record. 

Check it out if you'd like: http://lisabmusic.com/press_quotes.html.

Looking Back on the Release of "Free Me for the Joy," 1999

As I embark on reviewing all the meticulously saved pieces of paper relating to my adventures in the music business, I'm looking back on the release of my first full-length CD in early 1999, almost 15 years ago: "Free Me for the Joy."

All the songs on it were originals, written by me alone, or with Jim Gardiner or Barbara Higbie (except for "Trane's Ride," which is my arrangement of Coltrane's "Naima" brilliantly rendered by Jim, with my original poem over it). It was produced at Pajama Studios in Oakland.

My precious record original had waited for six months at the offices of Warner Jazz, where it was being considered by former Executive VP of Jazz Matt Pierson and Manager of Jazz A&R Dana Watson. Dana, a nice man, sweetly held many supportive phone conversations with me updating me on their review. It was amazing that they even listened to it: I had gotten it to them by cold-calling them myself. Ah, the bravado and fears of youth (though I was't that young, except I felt it in this venture)! Of course, I was deeply disappointed when they passed, "for no particular reason" except that they could only pick one new artist to add to their roster. I forget whom they choose. In retrospect, it was a hell of a coup to get even that far without any connections or help. 

In 1998/1999, musical artists were just starting to release their own records, and we believed that we could match the promotional efforts of the labels, albeit on a smaller scale, and gain a real listening audience.

I hired a good press agent, David Ginochio, former publicist at Concord Records, and we mailed out a slew of records together from his apartment, which was decorated with hip mid-century furnishings, of course long before "Mad Men" popularized the look. He managed to get some nice reviews for me.

I also got respectable radio play on 87 stations, mainly non-commercial and college stations along with about 10 smooth jazz stations (http://lisabmusic.com/radio.html). I remember painstakingly tracking the radio reports from the promoters I'd hired, noting every incidence and position of charting on the CMJ top 30, jazz, and adult album alternative charts, hoping for some kind of groundswell.

I also sent many fruitless missives to distribution companies, sold it myself by mail order and my then-rare gigs, and got it online on an early CD storefront. The whole venture was a maddening, exciting, massive learning experience. No one really knew what the outcome could be and no other artists shared the results of their previous efforts to release records on their own. Not that many had done it.

Below is a review of "Free Me for the Joy" from Jazziz Magazine by Jonathan Widran. It was a lovely critical response — the press the record garnered also included a number of other good reviews, a feature story that was picked up by the Jewish press, and an online interview on downbeat.com — but like some of the others, the review prompted not only my gratitude and excitement, but a sense of the lack of control over the critical interpretation of my music. I was surprised that he viewed my voice as "a dead ringer for that of Dianne Reeves" (a huge compliment, but come on, not accurate) and frustrated by his statement that "Trane's Ride (Naima)" detailed Coltrane's impact on my "body and soul" when I had clearly introduced the track during the intro as being in the voice of Trane himself. Perhaps Jonathan (who was supportive of all my subsequent records) was thrown by the idea that a woman could voice a man's experience. Still, I was pleased to get a positive multi-paragraph review in a major national print publication.

A couple of the spoken-word-oriented tunes, including "Trane's Ride," had appeared on a 1994 EP in limited release and three appeared later, in remastered versions, on my 2009 "The Poetry of Groove." Yet the overall sound of most of "Free Me for the Joy" is indeed more smooth jazzy and adult contemporary than any of the records of mine that followed — as we had intended. 

While my voice opened up and my technique and interpretive powers deepened in my four subsequent records, the originals of "Free Me" still sound pretty good to my ears. I've progressed enough to forgive myself for the parts I cringe at on my maiden voyage. And I'm proud to have launched this first full-length record in all my stomach-churning hopefulness, naivete, and determination. The musical landscape feels so different now, crammed with countless releases by artists on their own labels, whereas the reviews surrounding mine in Jazziz target records from Concord, RCA Victor, and indie Palmetto. 

You can hear and buy "Free Me for the Joy" at CDBaby, iTunes, or Amazon. I'd sure appreciate your enjoyment, reactions of any kind, and support.

Eavesdropping on My Body

Shortly after I was diagnosed with diabetes, I decided to write down what my body was saying to me about having this condition.

I postulated that I would just listen and take dictation. I recorded the first things that came into my head that I imagined as the communication from my body at that moment. Here’s what I heard, and wrote:

Take care of me
I am your system
I am your lifeblood
I am a network which communicates with itself
I am a network of information pulsing within the world
I transmit what you need
Feed me
I unfortunately must be plumbed with a needle
In a haystack
In a dimwit
In a bad girl
In a durable item
In a shining woman with tresses of auburn and a gown of netted gold
In an arched cathedral where you once stood witness and sang
I am your support to find your signals
I am your trampoline
I’ve got nothin’ but love for ya, baby
I’ve got some pain for you too
I remind you with each pinprick that you have skin
I remind you that you have borders which any prick can’t get into
I communicate in infinities of systems
But all can be known with the inner eyes
All my organs pulse with knowledge
Feed me
Know me
I’ll make up for letting you down
Work with me
Play with me
I’ll nourish you
I’ll shine for you
I’ll be strong and sturdy
Through me you will cry, but then you will laugh
And eat!
Feed me
And I’ll feed you back
I’m all yours

I found myself near tears at points with the baldness of the truths that my blunt body stated. And I was impressed by the imagination and perhaps ancient memories it seemed to offer. I didn’t want it to be a finished poem; I was happy to just have it, a communication from the body like a message in a bottle pushed urgently to shore.


Afterward, I felt rather tender toward my body, appreciative of its ups and downs, its loyalty throughout this and other challenges. I felt forgiveness – toward my body, and from my body toward myself.

Try this little exercise, also called "free writing." Find a spirit of childlike playfulness. No judgments, just listening. You don’t have to be a writer to do it. The outcome doesn’t have to be “good writing.” It doesn’t have to be poetic or meet any other standards.


Pick up a pen, or go to your computer. Pretend you’re just taking dictation. Don’t stop to revise. Don't stop at all, in fact. Don’t censor. If you don’t hear anything, write the first thing that comes into your head. Don’t wait for something “good” or “inspired” to come to you. It may feel like junk or nonsense at first. At some point, you'll start to get meaningful stuff, even if you don't see it that way while you're producing it.

If you have a specific issue you've been working on, ask your body to talk to you about that. It could be weight gain. It could be exhaustion. Just ask, and "take dictation" from your body as it tells you something in response. See what flows from your awareness down your arms, onto the page or screen. Start.

No one else has to read it. Or you may want to share it. You’ll have fun, and you’ll feel surprise.

Whatever other emotions arise, just allow them to be there in your experience for a few minutes. Then take a deep breath, and exhale. Put away what you write someplace you can find it, so you can pull it out and read again.

I know that one thing you’ll feel is relief: one always does in the face of intimate truth.

The communication from my body shown above was written decades ago. The other day I decided to do this exercise again. Here's what came out:

You make me work so hard

And yet I love to stretch out

Here in the middle stretch, in fact, 

It’s a bit more challenging to keep taking the next step

Yet what else are we here for?

And what alternative do we have?

Yes, this dull ache is still here in the right hip

But so many other dull, or not-so-dull, aches have come and gone

I know you’re better at handling the flaring-up pains

Those dramatic, cry-it-out, think-it-out, emotional waves

But here I am just carrying you through

I need you to notice this

If I were a horse, would you give me an apple?

If I were a dog, would you massage me more?

In fact, I’ve noticed, you do massage your dog a lot more often than you massage me!

It’s OK to take it easy, you know

And I’m more resilient than you sometimes remember

So, baby, let’s get ready for the rest of the race

Or is it a marathon? A marvelous, a Malomar, 

A mistake, a message, 

A missive, or a mistress? (no – that last one is me) – 

Maybe it’s more than you bargained for,

All this living, and yet I know my duty,

To live, to revive, to restore, to regret, 

To resurge

copyright © 2013 Lisa Bernstein

The Double-Infinity Birthday

My Dad turned 88 recently. I told him he turned double infinity. 

He laughed in that belly-shaking way and said, 

"Double infinity standing up."

My Dad is a guy from the Bronx, a Communist, a World War II vet, a scientist, a jazz photographer, an attorney, and a man who deeply loves his family. And despite many hip and back surgeries, he prides himself on continuing to literally and figuratively stand up — for himself, for us, and for what's right.  

Essences: Aretha, Sheila Jordan, and Miles

A Facebook thread started by singer Laurie Antonioli with comments by singer Stephanie Bruce inspired me to write some verbal "thumbnails" of some of my favorite artists. We were discussing marketing of artists and I commented that the key is communicating the unique essence of each. So I thought I'd make a stab. 

Here are three of them. What do you think?

Aretha Franklin:

Melding the black church with the bedroom, buoyant girlish flexibility with downhome female power.

Sheila Jordan:

Appalachia meets bebop. Whatever your journey or mine, you can always enter the sunshine of my smile.

Miles Davis:

Ever-evolving cool. 

New Video for My Version of Cole Porter's Great Song: "Night and Day/The Cat Goddess"

In late July 2013, artist Jenifer Bacon created an enticing video for my song "Night and Day/The Cat Goddess." 

The song first appeared on my 2006 CD "What's New, Pussycat?" and was re-released in a remastered version on my 2009 CD, "The Poetry of Groove." A revisioning of Cole Porter's great composition, my arrangement intersperses original spoken-word sections with my singing of Porter's mesmerizing lyrics and melody. 

It was recorded with marvelous engineer and co-producer Jim Gardiner at Pajama Studios in Oakland, California. On the track with me are Frank Martin, keyboards, Troy Lampkins, bass, Paul van Wageningen, drums, and John Santos, percussion. 

With its echoes of an Islamic call to prayer, according to Porter, and its intensely yearning quality, "Night and Day" conveys a longing not only for the beloved but also for the divine. The hunger and burning referred to in the lyrics show the intense intertwining of the physical and the spiritual, and they suggested to me the figure of the cat and the cat goddess, as well as the goddess in her many forms. I yoke these elements together in my spoken segment of the tune, with imagery spanning the goddess's (and the cat's) agility and mystery, revelations of darkness and light, the magic of witches and their burning, nursery rhymes, and the continuation of these memories by we who recall, know, and keep singing. 

All this is intimated in Jenifer Bacon's stirring video, with its imagery of the romantic hero and heroine; the moon, the sky, and our planet; fleeting images of the cat goddess and her suppression; and modern-day dancing goddesses.

  

We know that nursery rhymes can be the repository of some of the oldest forms of culture that have otherwise died out in their original forms. Below you can see how the cat goddess Bastet and her sacred musical instrument the sistrum live on in the figure of the cat and the fiddle (which I connect in my spoken lyrics). The images of the cow and the moon are additional echoes of the goddess.

You can purchase the song from iTunes here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/night-day-cat-goddess-remastered/id317598375?i=317598438&uo=4  Enjoy!

copyright © 2013 Lisa Bernstein